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Saturday, November 10, 2001
At the hockey game last night, the person who announced the national anthem felt the need to give a short spiel about our glorious country as he was doing so. I hate wartime. (It's still creepy thinking about this as wartime.)And they haven't let the 'Gates sing "O Canada" all season, which apparently they usually do since a large portion of the team is from Canada. It just doesn't make any sense. Is there some sort of rule that in order to honor our own country, we can't show respect for any others? It's not Canada's fault. Sheesh. So each game after "The Star Spangled Banner" the band sings "O Canada", as if anyone can hear us anyway.
spake the voices
Friday, November 09, 2001
Sometimes things just work out well, against all logic. =)
spake the voices
It seems like I've lost a lot of my self-consciousness since I've been here. My contacts only go in occasionally, I let my hair air-dry instead of painstakingly trying to get it to curl under properly, and I often go out in my pajamas. Perhaps because there are at least three people who see me before I even shower in the morning, because I live among my friends already and there really are no illusions left, there doesn't seem to be much point. Who can I possibly impress? I'm me, I look like I do, and that's that. It's kind of cool. I wish I'd been able to adopt that philosophy earlier in my life.
spake the voices
Some of the Bible is very beautiful, even to me who only looks at it as a mythology. Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. Some things just speak to a very human longing. How many things do we all thirst after each day?
spake the voices
Wednesday, November 07, 2001
At band rehearsal last night, Kevin pointed out that something I was doing made it look like I was trying to fly. Immediately, the three low brass players all started jumping up and down flapping their arms like birds. It was great. They wouldn't do it again when I asked though. Sometimes people mocking me end up being more amusing than I ever am on my own.
spake the voices
Yesterday I rediscovered Splashdown while I was at the Coop typing my paper on my laptop. (I love the way I can just bring this computer with me and do work elsewhere for a change of scene.) I wanted to see if my WinAmp worked offline so that I can share some of my music with my friends when I go home. (For some reason some of my programs get pissy when the computer's not hooked up to the Internet.) Sure enough, it was working, so I figured I'd listen to Blueshift for a while. For some reason I hadn't listened to it for a month or so. And it reminded me of first getting here, about how it was when everything was new and my life hadn't yet settled into this pattern.When I first listened to Blueshift, it was music for new feelings and experiences. I couldn't listen to my old music because it only sent me into the past. Now my old music has settled into its new habitat, as I have, but Splashdown hasn't settled in anywhere. It's still new-experience music, but I'm not in the middle of any hugely new experience right now. It reminds me though, especially as I register for classes, that after winter break I'll have to settle into a new pattern, different classes at different times, different activities in some cases. For some reason I can't quite wrap my head around the idea of classes that only last half a year. In some ways I still think I'm in high school.
Speaking of classes, next semester:
GREK 202: Intermediate Greek - Poetry
CORE 152: Challenge of Modernity
MUSI 203: Harmony I
COMP 347: Language and Gender
SOAN 218: Anthropology of Peace and Conflict (waitlisted)Things went remarkably well considering how late I registered. I'm really excited about all those classes except Modernity, but it has to be taken at some point or another, so I'll just hope for the best. This section is a 1:20, yet it filled up really slowly, so I'm hoping it's not something about the professor (Grapard) that everybody else knows and I don't. Anyway, I'm not sure how I'm going to choose between Language and Gender and Anthropology of Peace and Conflict if I get in. Decisions decisions. At least I won't have to worry about it until next semester, now that I'm registered.
spake the voices
I am such a spacey daydreaming dork.
spake the voices
Monday, November 05, 2001
I used to be terribly paranoid about journals and diaries. I didn't write much of anything in them because I always thought someone would be looking over my shoulder, or someone would find the journal later and read it and tell everyone. So most of what I thought stayed safely in my head.It's ironic, now that I'm here with three roommates who I don't know all that well, that suddenly I'm confident about diary-writing again. Granted, it's not that sudden a change; it started at home the end of last school year, although mostly with a journal that I carried in my bag everywhere and was hardly out of my sight. Maybe I've just come to terms with the reality that personal things about my life just don't matter enough to anybody else to be worth seeking out. Maybe it's that I feel safe here, because to my knowledge there's no one here who would deliberately try to hurt me.
Either way, I'm finally starting to make use of all the journals and blank books that people have given me over the years. Organized by topic, even. So now when there's something that I just can't post here, I can pull out the appropriate journal and write away. It's amazing how blogging has helped me to organize my thoughts in writing to keep them from cluttering my head and distracting me.
spake the voices
It's snowing! Big flakes floating past my window. Doesn't take much to make me happy. Last Friday I was in a terrible mood whenever I was indoors, but I couldn't help but be happy whenever I was outside. That was because it smelled like spring. Now there's snow. I love this place.
spake the voices
Much as I love it here, sometimes I just need to get off this campus. Fortunately, opportunities to do so keep coming up just when I need them. So, today was NYC to see King Lear. Would Amanda recognize a gaping hole in the NYC skyline if she saw one? Nope, not at all. Should Amanda be allowed to wander strange cities alone? Hell no. Should Amanda have read King Lear before seeing the performance? Most likely.But at least I got out of Hamilton for a while, and didn't think about any of the stuff going on here, except once during the day when I saw a police officer and had a brief flashback to Campus Safety appearing at Cushman last night. But that was all, and after that I just kept walking down 7th Ave, eating my croissant.
spake the voices
Sunday, November 04, 2001
Great. I can't sleep or do work. Wonderful.Sometimes I wish I didn't live in a quad, so I could just curl up in a ball and whimper when I need to. I want to go for a walk, but that's a waste of time when I really need to be either working or sleeping.
I guess I'll attempt sleep. I don't know. Things are weird.
spake the voices