| fancywing | wordcraft |
| spoken | gathered |
| dragon | escape |
<< < ? veggie blogs # > >>
Is this the real life? Yuccacentric
Blistered Avalon
Debitage
Fish Gone Bad
Scattered Words
F*cknuts
Donkey Balls
Betrunkene
Is this just fantasy? Book of Days
JessaJune
Blue Like That
Crezappy
Too Much Information
Wockerjabby
Isomorphisms
Squarebook
Reality Sandwiches
Saturday, December 08, 2001
Recap of fun things that have happened over the past few days while I was overly stressed.Band banquet:
My nickname - Medican
My awards - the "I made Dave's catfish warm and slimy" award (long story which will not be told here.)
the "All I wanted was poptarts but I got myself a bitch" award
and a bandcest award for me and Stenny.Band Christmas party:
Gift received: Magnetic kissing bears, with Amanda and Stenny nametags, from Allison. In a triangular bag.
Gift given: a jar of red hots and a spoon, for Dave, who said "You rock!" I'll treasure that memory just like the time he said "You win."
Best gift: When Gary iced Dave.Now I get to go back to being stressed, although hopefully not so much as before.
spake the voices
Friday, December 07, 2001
...or not. You know, if I weren't such a hardcore nondrinker, there are some nights I would go out and get so smashed. Gaaaah.Fortunately, though, I am, so I won't.
Marty taught me a cool German word the other day. Orientierungslos. The emotional equivalent of a ship being lost at sea.
It appears to be coming in very handy these days. *sigh*
Disclaimer: I am fine. Really. Just stressed. And moody. Not really different from normal, except that we're entering finals week. Okay? Okay.
spake the voices
Not sad. Just stressed, and moody. As some have expressed concern.You'll hear more this weekend. Once I've finished writing this goshdarn paper. Gaaah...
spake the voices
Thursday, December 06, 2001
All day it's looked like dusk is falling.
spake the voices
Wednesday, December 05, 2001
Sometimes everything is just impossible, and sometimes the reality of the aloneness of every human being is so distinct that it physically hurts.When the little things are tearing you apart
They should have told you that this is how it starts...
~Firewater, "Psychopharmacology"
spake the voices
There are dandelions all over the old golf course. That's just not right.
spake the voices
Tuesday, December 04, 2001
Lately, for no apparent reason, I've been overworried that people are mad at me, and nervous about making people upset with me. I don't know quite what to make of that.
spake the voices
Monday, December 03, 2001
Patterns patterns patterns. Everything falls into a pattern here after a while, everything a mindless habit. New ones develop when I'm not paying attention and soon enough they've become automatic too. Patterns can drive me into something of a stupor after a while, especially when they're all the wrong kinds of patterns. They're not just patterns of action, they're patterns of productivity, patterns of energy, patterns of mood. The weeks go by in a traditional ebb and flow of power and energy, the rhythms come and go.I think I'm in the wrong kind of pattern of existence here right now. More than anything else it seems like a slow whirlpool down a drain. But there's only two weeks left to the semester, and when I come back, I must I must I must set a different pattern for myself, one that will keep me energized and content. Because something in the way I'm spending my days right now is draining my energy, motivation, and mood. It can't keep on like this.
I always feel better when I'm outside. And I always feel more energized when the sun is bright. Next semester there will be more sun, too.
spake the voices
Did I mention how much I hate erasing scores?
spake the voices
Sunday, December 02, 2001
So all of a sudden I'm equipment manager.I hadn't planned on running, really. I'd mentioned it to a couple people a couple weeks ago, but in the end decided not this year. But at elections as position after position got filled I got more and more excited about the people who will be running things for the next calendar year, and started thinking about what it would be like to work with them and get to be a part of all the planning and organizing and things. My stomach started getting that nervous-excited feeling like it always does when I need to stand in front of people and tell them somehow that I can do the job. When we came to equipment manager I was nominated by one of the people I'd talked to about it. I accepted. I stood up. I talked. I sat down. I left the room with the other nominees, and when Dave came out he told us that Jeff and I got the position (there are two equipment managers.) Orlando, the old equipment manager, tossed me his band room key when I came back. I gladly put it on my keyring. At the risk of sounding like I'm on a power trip, I have to admit that having keys makes me feel powerful, especially since I spent the last couple years of high school chasing the band director around so he could let me into the music library or the practice rooms since students weren't allowed to have keys.
So by some bizarre turn of events I have a new key and lots of responsibilities. Aiya.
spake the voices
I'm Mr. Green Christmas, I'm Mr. Sun
I'm Mr. Heat Blister, I'm Mr. One-Hundred-and-One
They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much.
Da-dum dum dum, daaa dum
Da-dum dum dum, daaa dum...
spake the voices