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Saturday, May 11, 2002
Well, I will probably have my computer set up again sometime next week, but tomorrow I am moving out of my room and down to Cushman and then leaving for the Poconos with many of my favorite seniors. So, you will not hear from me until Tuesday or Wednesday. Just figured I'd share.Yes, and hopefully by then I'll be less moody and whiney and have more interesting insightful posts for you. We shall see.
Friday, May 10, 2002
You know, if you need a U-Haul to pack all your stuff, you have way too much stuff. A U-Haul is as big as a dorm room for Pete's sake. Sheesh.
They're all leaving! My roommate Beth left yesterday, and now the parents have come to take all the rest of them away.
Expect nothing: you won't be disappointed. Expect nothing: you won't be disappointed.Maybe this is all wrong. Maybe it always was.
Someday, I want to let myself have expectations. When I'm mature enough to trust myself that they're reasonable.
Thursday, May 09, 2002
The summer music is already going around exuberantly in my head as if I'm done with this exam. Must convince self to focus for just a few more hours!
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
There are words, and then there are actions, and they've seemed more distinct than ever lately.I wish people wouldn't misuse words. They hook me so easily, no matter how careful I am.
You know, I'll miss this place, but home will be good when it happens. Stuff around here doesn't feel right anymore. I need to fix that.
I'm not the person I thought -- or maybe hoped -- I was. I never am, really. I just hope I can fix it someday. Become who I want to be. Do we ever get there? Who knows. But it seems like so much depends on it. Other people's respect, I think at first. But then I really think. No, not even that. My own.
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
For some reason the weather today reminds me of sitting in Mt. Prospect St. Cemetary writing in my journal before going to breakfast with Kat one morning last year. Something about the birds and the dampness of the air.
Don't worry, I'll get new comments soon.Remember BlogVoices? Good ol' BlogVoices? I miss them. I never had a single problem with them until the day they crashed. Then it all went to hell with comment systems. :-p
Hm. That thing where you have to hit reload to get new content on every people.colgate.edu page seems to have fixed itself. Neat.
Monday, May 06, 2002
Tonight isn't working as well as last night did. It's hard to keep that rhythm working well for long. *sigh*
Today is a beautiful day. It is a day for breaking into song and dance!Unfortunately, it is also a day for studying like mad.
Being able to make someone feel better, being there to give a hug at the right time, things like that are the most wonderful feelings in the world. And having someone who makes you feel so important and needed, that is one of the most important things in the world.
Sometimes there's so much music and so many stars, and it's all too much for me to appreciate or understand.
Sunday, May 05, 2002
I've known for a long time that my feelings and associations can be transferred to music and played back to me. It's one of the coolest and also strangest feelings I can experience. But I never realized that someone else could transfer their feelings in music to someone else. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm making this all up. But sometimes I feel physically drawn in a certain way, and it's the most bizarre sensation, especially when it comes not from me but somewhere else.Would it be silly to say that music is that god/connection/web thing that i'm always referring vaguely to?
