Archives
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Some days I can't focus because I'm distracted by some longing for connection with other people, and, searching, I can't think about anything else. And then some days I can't focus because I'm finding connection with people everywhere and I can't turn away something I value so much. That was yesterday and today, respectively, and while today has made me feel happier and more energentic overall, neither situation has lent itself to getting work done.
All the same, it's a good feeling. Schoolwork never keeps me going when connections are bad. But connection...
Sunday, December 08, 2002
I wonder why it is that last year I felt so overjoyed and hopeful, and this year I feel so wistful. I guess it's partially that this year I've been involved, so I'm saying goodbye to something I've been a part of. But for a long time it's felt like there's a little bit of goodbye in everything. Everything seems more like an end than a beginning. I've somehow gotten turned around backwards again, as if the current is carrying me by too fast, and I can only see things as they've gone by. I have to start swimming with the current again and appreciate what I have while I have it, or I'll never be ready to say goodbye to anything at all.
