Archives
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Campus is deserted after the great exodus yesterday, but last night PhiDelt was still playing their usual rotation of songs, pumping up the volume so it can be heard across Whitnall Field, as if there's still someone other than themselves to hear. Usually the loudness of the music from the frats is a good reflection of the energy on campus, so this seems out of place, like the last person talking loudly when a hush falls over a crowd.
The semester is finally over, and suddenly I'm regretful that I wished it away so quickly. It's really a reflection of how I've done things for most of my life: rushing through things, wishing they were over, and then afterwards regretting that I hadn't truly enjoyed them at the time. My senior year of high school and my first year at Colgate were an exception -- I developed the ability to really live in the moment and enjoy everything while it was happening. I can't tell if doing that made everything more vibrant, or if the fact that everything was more vibrant made me do that. But since sometime last summer I've slipped back into old habits and now another year of my life has been tossed aside like nothing.
So, this summer: a conscious effort to do things right again, take things slowly, not wish for anything to end. I did it once, and I can and will do it again. We only have so much time to work with.
The semester is finally over, and suddenly I'm regretful that I wished it away so quickly. It's really a reflection of how I've done things for most of my life: rushing through things, wishing they were over, and then afterwards regretting that I hadn't truly enjoyed them at the time. My senior year of high school and my first year at Colgate were an exception -- I developed the ability to really live in the moment and enjoy everything while it was happening. I can't tell if doing that made everything more vibrant, or if the fact that everything was more vibrant made me do that. But since sometime last summer I've slipped back into old habits and now another year of my life has been tossed aside like nothing.
So, this summer: a conscious effort to do things right again, take things slowly, not wish for anything to end. I did it once, and I can and will do it again. We only have so much time to work with.
